Looking Forward

J and I went in for my 2 week post-op appointment today. I was hoping to hear that we would only have to wait 2 cycles before we could try again, but Dr. Kleinpeter wants us to wait 3. Ugh! His explanation was that my HcG levels were in the 100,000's the day of my D&C, and because the pregnancy progressed as far as it did, my body would need the three cycles to recoup. As much as I didn't like it, I understood. He's being conservative, and I appreciate that, but I've also heard that in the 3 months following a D&C that you're more fertile. I wanted to capitalize on my increased fertility while I could. The other piece of news that really struck a nerve with me was the part about having to go back on "the pill". Because I have PCOS and I don't have regular cycles on my own I would need the pill to bring on the 3 cycles necessary in order to get back in the ttc game. Again, I understand, but I don't have to like it, do I?

Dr. Kleinpeter really is a wonderful, caring doctor with impeccable bedside manner. (And he's not bad looking either!) He spent about 30 minutes talking to us about where we'll go from here. He wants to run a few blood tests to check my antibody levels and my clotting ability. Aside from genetic abnormalities in the baby, clotting issues are a common cause of miscarriage. If just a few of the vessels responsible for the transport of oxygen and nutrients were to become clogged then the baby won't receive what it needs from the mother in order to survive. People with arthritis like I have will have antibodies in their blood that are fighting against their bodies. That's what is attacking my joint tissue, and very often these antibodies can interfere with a woman's fertility. Fortunately there are easy solutions to both of these issues, and if it turns out that these were possible causes of my miscarriage, then they can easily be solved should I become pregnant again. I'll have both of these tests done in about 4 weeks once my HcG levels have had time to return to a pre-pregnancy state. I can't be on the pill when I take these tests because the hormones in the pill might skew the results. So in the meantime I'm going to hope and pray that I have a cycle on my own between now and when I have my blood tests done. Then that will be one cycle down, and only 2 months of pills ahead.

We also talked about my frustration with not being able to lost weight despite cutting back on my food intake and working out 45 minutes to an hour 4-5 days a week. My PCOS is the culprit! Most PCOS patients have some sort of insulin resistence (IR). Some more than others. The problem with weight loss comes because the PCOS body doesn't process insulin (glucose) the way it should. I can have a normal blood sugar of 80, but an IR of 32, and it will be much harder for me to lose weight as opposed to a person with a blood sugar of 80 and an IR of 16. So with that said, I can count calories and fat grams all day long, but if my body won't break down the insulin like it should I'm not going to lose any weight. Therefore, Dr. K suggested that I start on a low-carb diet. (Yet another thing I hated about our appointment! I LOVE CARBS!!!!)

I am antsy to try again. I guess because I'm looking for something to fill this huge void I have in my heart. I know that's not the proper way to go about filling that void, but at this point it's the only way I know how. TTC has been a huge part of my life for the past year, and because of that, it brings a sense of normalcy to my life that I haven't felt in over a month. I guess if I can't try to conceive then I'm going to work on my weight. It will give me something to do to pass the time while I wait for the day when we can get back to trying to conceive!!