Thought You'd Be Here

Tomorrow is my EDD for our second little one. I've been very emotional this week though today I'm at peace about it. I know that my little one is in Heaven waiting on me.

I found these lyrics on FF this morning, and I wanted to share them with you. I know that so many of us feel this way. We thought we'd have our little ones here with us by now. I tried to find a video or recording of the song online, but I haven't had any luck. Then I tried to add the song from my computer, but I can't figure out how to do it. Actually I'd love to make a playlist of all the songs I've been listening to this week that have helped calm my restless heart. If anyone knows how, please let me know!!!

Thought You'd Be Here
By Wes King

We thought you'd be here by now your Mother and I
We're praying through our tears that somehow
We might hear your sweet cry
Have we waited too long?
It's getting harder to be strong?
Is there something we've done wrong?

But if you like dancing
I'll make it rain rhythm and rhyme and melodies, child
And if you like dreaming
Your Mother will make your imagination run wild
Somehow, we thought you'd be here by now

We have a room just for you, upstairs
It's right down the hall
So we'll be close should you ever get scared
We'll come when you call
It's a room full of stories
Waiting to be told
Longing to behold

And if you like laughing
I'll paint you a circus of smiles and ferris wheels, dear
And if you like living
Your Mother will fly you to worlds both far and near
Somehow....

I never knew the silence could make me so deaf
I never knew that I could miss someone I never met
Miss someone I haven't met yet

We'll be waiting

Today's a Down Day

I don't know why it is, but every now and then I have this day where nothing suits me, and I just can't get out of the funk I'm in. And today is one of those days. Nothing has really set me off, it's just an overall dissatisfaction with my life. There's nothing that I want more in this life than to be a mom, and here I am at 33 with no living children. Sometimes it's just more than I can take emotionally, and I spend the day in a funk. My mom emailed today because she hadn't heard from me in a while, and I had nothing to say but negative stuff. Sad. I hate days like this, but at this point in the journey it's inevitable I guess. My heart aches...and I want chips. Did I tell you I'm an emotional eater? And I'm one of the rare ones that chocolate doesn't help. It's got to be salty and crunchy.

I saw this video on Shellie's blog. Thank you so much for posting this! It's truly how I feel...I Would Die For That!

Praise You in This Storm

I LOVE this song...just wanted to post it because it totally speaks about where I am these days. Infertility is definitely a storm in life, but it seems as though I'm stuck under the rain cloud and can't find my way out. I just have to keep praising God because believe it or not God has placed many blessings in my life along the way. I don't know the outcome of all this, but I know that God is with me all along the way. I'm never left to weather this storm alone. I heard this quote in the video of a live performance of this song, and it just blew me away..."Sometimes He calms the storms in our lives, and sometimes He rides them with us." PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!!!!



Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm