Many apologies for neglecting my blog. There hasn't been much going on in life until two days ago when our computer at home crashed. But I wasn't worried when that happened...I had everything backed up! SO I THOUGHT!!!
Two weeks ago before I left on my scrapbooking trip I backed up the computer. I dragged the "My Documents" folder onto our external hard drive, and it spent almost an hour copying files. When it was done I looked on the F drive and there were all of our pictures, documents, music files, etc....
Our computer has been running really slowly lately so we started poking around on it and noticed that several things were appearing on our computer several times. So we started deleting some of the copies. That's when the computer went haywire. J tended to the computer for hours and got it all up and running and I transferred the files from the external to the computer. That's when we noticed all of our adoption stuff, our financial files, and many other important files that were in our "My Doctuments" folder were missing from the external. I panicked!!! All those files were in the folder on the external when I left town. J thinks that our computer just didn't accept them when I loaded them back on and wiped them off the F drive somehow. He ran some recovery software, and some of the files were found, but of course not the adoption files or the financial records.
The computer had been acting up lately (not keeping our internet history even though we have it set to hold it for 5 days...the fan starts running really loudly if we're watching videos or listening to music, and it sounds like an airplane taking off...taking forever to boot up and shut down, etc...). But even with those things happening we figured we had a few more months to save up more money for a new one. Boy were we wrong!!!
J thinks that our computer reverted back to a date in October during the recovery process for some reason because he found last year's financial records up to October, but nothing from 2008 (which is when all the adoption stuff was added to the computer.) This has been a nightmare!!!!!
We're buying a new computer tomorrow, but we're lost without our financial stuff, and I'm just sick about our adoption stuff. We had already started writing our Dear BM letter, and I had some information that people had sent me about agencies and books and info about adoption. Our autobiographies that we spent HOURS writing for our HS are lost, but the agency is faxing me a copy so I can retype them on the new computer.
Now for the good news...
Our photo books that our potential BM's will look through came in, and they look AWESOME!!!!
Adoption News...
We're almost done filling out our applications for both agencies. We just have to get our family history, and that means that I have to call my dad (YUCK) to ask about my grandparents. I've tried asking my mom, but she doesn't remember. (Damn!) We're almost to the waiting point!!!! YEA!!!!!
Funny News...
I had to go see Dr. K so he could fill out a form for St. Eliz.abeth's stating that he deemed me infertile. (To remind you...St. E's give priority to infertiles...the one time being infertile has it's perks!) He came in his office and walked over like he always does to shake my hand, but this time he said, "I know you well enough to get a hug, right?" Then we talked a bit about why I was there. He said this was the first time he had ever had to fill out something this detailed. (Normally it's just a form that states that you're physically, mentally and emotionally stable enough to adopt.) He had to fill out my whole history...all procedures, all treatments, miscarriages, etc...He started laughing when it asked about my teeth. He told me to smile, and then he wrote that my teeth were healthy. He had to write my pulse rate and blood pressure, which were both elevated (130/90 and 90 bpm) b/c I had talked to J about the computer right before they took me back. He said, "That's not gonna look good." and then winked*. Then he had to write about whether I was emotionally stable enough to be a parent, and he looked up at me and said, "Well, we've never hung out socially, but you never had an emotional meltdown in my office, so I'm gonna have to say that I find you emotionally stable enough. If only I had to answer that question about all my patients."
It took him about 10-15 minutes to fill everything out. He handed it to me to read over, and I noticed everything showed that I was healthy (*wink, wink) and completely infertile. As I was leaving he said, "Please keep us posted on what happens especially since I've had to fill all this out." I laughed and said, "Yeah, now you're vested in this, huh?" And he said the sweetest thing..."I've been vested in this for you, girl." Awww, I love my doc.
He walked out after me and said, "You know what's gonna happen don't you?" And I said, "It better not now that I'm back on the Meth.otre.xate. But wouldn't that be ironic?" He winked and said, "That's why you're on the folic acid, but I'd be much more comfortable if it didn't happen. I'll see ya soon, and you better have a baby in tow."
Arthritis News...
I went to see Dr. C a couple weeks ago and she upped my Metho.trex.ate to 20mg/week and my Remi.cade to 600mg every 8 weeks, and I FEEL AMAZING!!!! I am FINALLY back to my old self. I haven't hit the gym just yet. I want to wait until after my next Remi.cade infusion, but I am PRAISING GOD that I am feeling better. My endless flare that began in October is FINALLY OVER!!!!! I can walk without limping, I can open jars without J's help, I can do laundry without my hands hurting, and I can do housework without feeling it for days afterwards (though I think I'll keep the housekeeper once a month b/c I've gotten spoiled!). I have waited for this day for months, and it's finally here!!!! A day without pain is just amazing!!!!
So that's what life in the Haik household has been like lately.
Happy Wednesday y'all!!!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
4 Things About Me
4 jobs that I have had:
1. elementary teacher for 8 years
2. worked for a jeweler
3. Alumni Secretary at LSU Baptist Collegiate Ministries
4. nanny
4 movies I've watched more than 10 times:
1. Monsters, Inc.
2. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
3. Finding Nemo
4. I can't think of any others that I've seen 10 or more times. I'm sure that will change when we have kids, though. But I can't wait!!! ;o)
4 TV shows I watch:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. House
3. Desperate Houswives
4. American Idol (and the list goes on)
4 Places I've visited:
1. Singapore
2. Europe (The Netherlands, France, Belgium)
3. The Caribbean (Jamaica, Belize, Cozumel, Playa del Carmen)
4. NYC
4 People that email me regularly:
1. Michelle
2. Sarah
3. Mom
4. Lauren
4 of my favorite foods:
1. cherry/pineapple dump cake
2. juicy cheeseburgers
3. French Fries
4. Mexican
4 places that I would like to visit:
1. Australia
2. Ireland
3. England
4. Hawaii
4 things that I am looking forward to in the coming year:
1. adopting a baby
2. becoming a parent
3. attending my own baby shower
4. sleepless nights with baby
I tag R_is_Moody !
1. elementary teacher for 8 years
2. worked for a jeweler
3. Alumni Secretary at LSU Baptist Collegiate Ministries
4. nanny
4 movies I've watched more than 10 times:
1. Monsters, Inc.
2. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
3. Finding Nemo
4. I can't think of any others that I've seen 10 or more times. I'm sure that will change when we have kids, though. But I can't wait!!! ;o)
4 TV shows I watch:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. House
3. Desperate Houswives
4. American Idol (and the list goes on)
4 Places I've visited:
1. Singapore
2. Europe (The Netherlands, France, Belgium)
3. The Caribbean (Jamaica, Belize, Cozumel, Playa del Carmen)
4. NYC
4 People that email me regularly:
1. Michelle
2. Sarah
3. Mom
4. Lauren
4 of my favorite foods:
1. cherry/pineapple dump cake
2. juicy cheeseburgers
3. French Fries
4. Mexican
4 places that I would like to visit:
1. Australia
2. Ireland
3. England
4. Hawaii
4 things that I am looking forward to in the coming year:
1. adopting a baby
2. becoming a parent
3. attending my own baby shower
4. sleepless nights with baby
I tag R_is_Moody !
Monday, April 21, 2008
Yesterday was a sad day
J called as I was heading to the airport to come home from my scrapbooking weekend to tell me that our cat Sassy was no longer with us. As he told the story he sounded like he had been crying, and the more he said the more I wanted to cry.
J let our dog Maddie out yesterday morning, and while she was doing her business he stepped into the bathroom in our laundry room to use the restroom. When we let Maddie out, Sassy LOVES to sneek out and roll on the concrete. That's all she does is roll on the concrete. She never wanders off or anything, but lately we've tried to discourage her from sneeking out the back door because she doesn't have front claws and we didn't want her to get out without us knowing and have something happen to her. She's rather stealthy so it's been difficult to keep her in when we let Maddie out. Normally we go out with Maddie and we're standing by the door to leep Sassy in, but occasionally we'll finish what we're doing and just glance over every now and again to see that Sassy is still inside.
So, yesterday morning J was in his boxers and didn't want to go out in them so he stayed inside. He could see the back door from the bathroom, and he was watching for Sassy and listening for her tags. Maddie let herself in and J closed the door not knowing Sassy was outside. He went to feed Maddie and then he got in the shower. An hour later J went to leave from church, and he backed out of the driveway. As he was backing out he hit a "bump". He immediately got out to see what it was and found Sassy laying on the driveway twitching. He sat down beside her and started petting her and talking to her to calm her down. He said her eyes were huge probably because she was scared. It only took her about 30 seconds to die. J guessed that her spinal chord was broken because it was quick. The only thing we can figure is Sassy tried to get back in, but since J had closed the door behind him she couldn't get in. She spooks easily, so we're guessing that something spooked her and she ran under J's car for shelter.
When she died, he went inside to change so he could bury her. Being the engineer that he is, he checked online to see the proper way to bury a pet so that it was environmentally safe. Once he found the best way to do it he dug a hole behind our bush at the end of our driveway, and buried Sassy there. He said it was very hard to bury her because he had taken her in several years ago and saved her from being on the streets and now he was having to deal with being the one that killed her. I wish I would have been there with him.
Please say a prayer for J. He's blaming himself for what was an accident. He knows it was an accident and there was nothing he could have done, but he's still taking it hard. I called him when I landed in Houston to see how he was doing, and he started crying. He said that he was upset for a couple of reasons. 1) he was mad that he wasn't standing at the door like he normally does, 2) he killed his own cat and then had to bury her, and 3) he had to go to our friend's little boy's birthday party by himself on Saturday, and he said he was reminded MANY times of what we don't have.
Life sure is weird without Sassy. She always greeted us in the morning with a chorus of meows, and she followed J everywhere like a shadow. Sassy was a sweet little kitty, and when J found her and took her in 6 years ago, she was fully house-trained. She was so smart, and she loved to be in the bathroom with us. That was "her" time. We sure will miss her!!
J let our dog Maddie out yesterday morning, and while she was doing her business he stepped into the bathroom in our laundry room to use the restroom. When we let Maddie out, Sassy LOVES to sneek out and roll on the concrete. That's all she does is roll on the concrete. She never wanders off or anything, but lately we've tried to discourage her from sneeking out the back door because she doesn't have front claws and we didn't want her to get out without us knowing and have something happen to her. She's rather stealthy so it's been difficult to keep her in when we let Maddie out. Normally we go out with Maddie and we're standing by the door to leep Sassy in, but occasionally we'll finish what we're doing and just glance over every now and again to see that Sassy is still inside.
So, yesterday morning J was in his boxers and didn't want to go out in them so he stayed inside. He could see the back door from the bathroom, and he was watching for Sassy and listening for her tags. Maddie let herself in and J closed the door not knowing Sassy was outside. He went to feed Maddie and then he got in the shower. An hour later J went to leave from church, and he backed out of the driveway. As he was backing out he hit a "bump". He immediately got out to see what it was and found Sassy laying on the driveway twitching. He sat down beside her and started petting her and talking to her to calm her down. He said her eyes were huge probably because she was scared. It only took her about 30 seconds to die. J guessed that her spinal chord was broken because it was quick. The only thing we can figure is Sassy tried to get back in, but since J had closed the door behind him she couldn't get in. She spooks easily, so we're guessing that something spooked her and she ran under J's car for shelter.
When she died, he went inside to change so he could bury her. Being the engineer that he is, he checked online to see the proper way to bury a pet so that it was environmentally safe. Once he found the best way to do it he dug a hole behind our bush at the end of our driveway, and buried Sassy there. He said it was very hard to bury her because he had taken her in several years ago and saved her from being on the streets and now he was having to deal with being the one that killed her. I wish I would have been there with him.
Please say a prayer for J. He's blaming himself for what was an accident. He knows it was an accident and there was nothing he could have done, but he's still taking it hard. I called him when I landed in Houston to see how he was doing, and he started crying. He said that he was upset for a couple of reasons. 1) he was mad that he wasn't standing at the door like he normally does, 2) he killed his own cat and then had to bury her, and 3) he had to go to our friend's little boy's birthday party by himself on Saturday, and he said he was reminded MANY times of what we don't have.
Life sure is weird without Sassy. She always greeted us in the morning with a chorus of meows, and she followed J everywhere like a shadow. Sassy was a sweet little kitty, and when J found her and took her in 6 years ago, she was fully house-trained. She was so smart, and she loved to be in the bathroom with us. That was "her" time. We sure will miss her!!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Feeling Accomplished
J had his meeting with our SW this morning (FINALLY!!!). So we are officially done with our part of the HS. Our SW said that our background and child abuse checks came back and our references have come in, so now we're just waiting on her write-up!!! Once she gets that written we are officially finished with our HS!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!
We met with New Begin.nings last night and absolutely LOVED them. We were the only ones at the meeting so it was very personal, and we were able to just talk about domestic adoption. One of the ladies from the agency said that she really loved it when there was only one couple because they could spend time getting to know us on a personal level.
We decided that we were definitely going with them, and they have no problems with us signing on with another agency, so we're also signing up with St. Eli.zabeth as well.
I'm so excited and can't wait to get our applications turned in so we're officially waiting. YEA!!!!
We met with New Begin.nings last night and absolutely LOVED them. We were the only ones at the meeting so it was very personal, and we were able to just talk about domestic adoption. One of the ladies from the agency said that she really loved it when there was only one couple because they could spend time getting to know us on a personal level.
We decided that we were definitely going with them, and they have no problems with us signing on with another agency, so we're also signing up with St. Eli.zabeth as well.
I'm so excited and can't wait to get our applications turned in so we're officially waiting. YEA!!!!
Friday, April 11, 2008
All Better
I'm feeling much better today, thank the Lord. I got a good cry in yesterday, and today I'm back to my normal self. Now that's not to say that I won't need another good cry after I take MW lunch today, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I truly think I'll be fine. It's just that yesterday it hit me hard that I'll never get to experience the miracle of child birth from MW's point of view. I'm hoping to get to experience it when our future BM (birthmom, not bowel movement!! LOL) has our baby, but I don't think there's ANYTHING that compares to having your own child.
The meeting with St. Eliz.abeth's went well. J and I are hoping to go with them as they are very laid back in their approach to letting us make the decision together with our EM about how much interaction we have with one another. They will allow us to "network" as much or as little as we want, and we can even work with another agency at the same time. Their goal is to get us a child, and they want us to reach that goal no matter how it happens. So if Ne.w Beginn.ings will allow us to work with St. Eliz.abeth's at the same time we're going for it!!! Since they both take no money until after placement, we'll only be out the application fee for the agency we don't get matched with. I told J that if they both match us I'm accepting both!! I got the "engineer glare"...for those of you who don't live with a tightwad engineer...it wasn't a pretty look. I told him I was only kidding, but a tiny part of me was serious. Though I know we won't accept both if it were to happen because that would be very selfish, and I want another couple to have the chance to be parents sooner rather than later.
I'll update you tomorrow on the meeting with New Begin.nings and J's individual interview (if it happens...he hasn't heard from our SW to confirm...I'm worried!!!)
The meeting with St. Eliz.abeth's went well. J and I are hoping to go with them as they are very laid back in their approach to letting us make the decision together with our EM about how much interaction we have with one another. They will allow us to "network" as much or as little as we want, and we can even work with another agency at the same time. Their goal is to get us a child, and they want us to reach that goal no matter how it happens. So if Ne.w Beginn.ings will allow us to work with St. Eliz.abeth's at the same time we're going for it!!! Since they both take no money until after placement, we'll only be out the application fee for the agency we don't get matched with. I told J that if they both match us I'm accepting both!! I got the "engineer glare"...for those of you who don't live with a tightwad engineer...it wasn't a pretty look. I told him I was only kidding, but a tiny part of me was serious. Though I know we won't accept both if it were to happen because that would be very selfish, and I want another couple to have the chance to be parents sooner rather than later.
I'll update you tomorrow on the meeting with New Begin.nings and J's individual interview (if it happens...he hasn't heard from our SW to confirm...I'm worried!!!)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Mixed Emotions
My friend MW had her baby this morning at 6:45...Rachel Leigh. She pushed ONCE!!! They started her pitoc.in drip, laid her on the bed, and her water broke immediately. The nurse told her she was at a 5, she turned around to do whatever L&D nurses do, and 5 minutes later MW was at a 10 and the baby was crowning. They laid her on her side and told her not to push, sneeze, laugh, etc... Dr. K barely got there in time!!! He told her to give a small push, and the baby was out!
Anyway, I'm having a pretty emotional day...I've always wanted a girl (not that we would turn a boy down, but I'm just a froo froo girlie girl, so I've always wanted a girl.) I did fine at the hospital this morning, but it hit me on the way home that she now has what I've always wanted. So I'm a mess right now. To top it all off my due date for my first one is two days away (actually MW's due date is also 4/12 so I'm REALLY glad she was induced today and not Saturday). Our baby should be turning 1 in a couple days. So this really sucks! I'm putting on a happy face because I really am excited for them, but inside I'm crushed.
ETA...I went back up to the hospital this afternoon so I could spend some time with just Michelle while the family went out for lunch, and on my way I stopped by a maternity/baby store that was going out of business and had everything 50% off. I had promised MW's little boy that I would bring him something special when I came back, so I found him a cute "I'm the big brother" cloth photo album so he could show off his sister at church. And while I was there I found the softest pink blanket that I have ever felt, and on it it read "God Bless This Child". I thought it was perfect for MW. When I gave it to her she went on and on about how she didn't have a pink blanket to take Rachel home in (they didn't find out the baby's sex until today) and how appreciative she was for it. While I was there we would talk about Rachel some and then she would start talking about how excited she was about our adoption meetings and how she couldn't wait for me to bring home a baby. She told me I needed to start collecting baby things and putting them in a hope chest, but I told her I wasn't buying anything baby until after the baby was born and we knew it was ours. I mean, I *want* to buy things, but I just can't bring myself to actually *do* it. I guess it's a self-preservation thing.
I stayed for an hour or so after her family came back and more visitors started coming in, so I decided it was time to leave. I went over to MW and told her I would be back tomorrow with lunch (since she had GD she hasn't had french fries or a regular Dr. Pepp.er in a while so I promised I would bring that for her) and she grabbed my arm and told me again how beautiful the blanket was and that she loved it and couldn't wait to bring Rachel home all wrapped up in it. Then she gave my arm a squeeze as if to tell me she knew how hard it was for me to go into a store with baby things and buy it. Then she told me that she expected a full report about our meeting tonight. She said she just had a feeling that St. Eliz.abeth's was going to be the agency for us. That made me feel so good...someone, even though she's a fertile, "gets" it.
Anyway, I'm having a pretty emotional day...I've always wanted a girl (not that we would turn a boy down, but I'm just a froo froo girlie girl, so I've always wanted a girl.) I did fine at the hospital this morning, but it hit me on the way home that she now has what I've always wanted. So I'm a mess right now. To top it all off my due date for my first one is two days away (actually MW's due date is also 4/12 so I'm REALLY glad she was induced today and not Saturday). Our baby should be turning 1 in a couple days. So this really sucks! I'm putting on a happy face because I really am excited for them, but inside I'm crushed.
ETA...I went back up to the hospital this afternoon so I could spend some time with just Michelle while the family went out for lunch, and on my way I stopped by a maternity/baby store that was going out of business and had everything 50% off. I had promised MW's little boy that I would bring him something special when I came back, so I found him a cute "I'm the big brother" cloth photo album so he could show off his sister at church. And while I was there I found the softest pink blanket that I have ever felt, and on it it read "God Bless This Child". I thought it was perfect for MW. When I gave it to her she went on and on about how she didn't have a pink blanket to take Rachel home in (they didn't find out the baby's sex until today) and how appreciative she was for it. While I was there we would talk about Rachel some and then she would start talking about how excited she was about our adoption meetings and how she couldn't wait for me to bring home a baby. She told me I needed to start collecting baby things and putting them in a hope chest, but I told her I wasn't buying anything baby until after the baby was born and we knew it was ours. I mean, I *want* to buy things, but I just can't bring myself to actually *do* it. I guess it's a self-preservation thing.
I stayed for an hour or so after her family came back and more visitors started coming in, so I decided it was time to leave. I went over to MW and told her I would be back tomorrow with lunch (since she had GD she hasn't had french fries or a regular Dr. Pepp.er in a while so I promised I would bring that for her) and she grabbed my arm and told me again how beautiful the blanket was and that she loved it and couldn't wait to bring Rachel home all wrapped up in it. Then she gave my arm a squeeze as if to tell me she knew how hard it was for me to go into a store with baby things and buy it. Then she told me that she expected a full report about our meeting tonight. She said she just had a feeling that St. Eliz.abeth's was going to be the agency for us. That made me feel so good...someone, even though she's a fertile, "gets" it.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
My Hectic Life
Gosh, I feel like such a dweeb for not posting much lately. Life has been really hectic but it's nothing "post worthy". (HA HA...that made me think of Elaine's "sponge worthy" on Seinfeld.) But for those interested in my crazy hectic life I'll give you the run-down of what's been going on. Please don't feel obligated to read on.
Monday...work from 9-2, then I scheduled an appt for 4/30 with a podiatrist to take a look at my bunion which will more than likely have to be removed. (You're dreading the fact that you started reading, huh???)
Yesterday...work from 9-2. Then I ran (okay, not literally...HA HA) home to freshen up and change clothes to be at an awards ceremony from 4-6. A little background...I'm in charge of a ministry at church where we go in and work with students at a local elementary school through Volunteers in Public Schools (VIPS). And our church was nominated for an award for our service. Unfortunately I don't know if we won or not because I had to leave the ceremony early so I could get to another church at 6:00 to teach the Vacation Bible School (VBS) music to all the people who will be leading the music for their own church's VBS this summer. It was a crazy night!!!
Today...work from 9-3. Then head home to feed Maddie, let her out, clean up around the house, and then get to church for choir rehearsal.
Tomorrow...My friend MW is being induced so I'm heading to the hospital at some point to go meet her new baby. We have our meeting with St. Eliz.abeth's Adoption Agency from 7-9pm.
Friday...clean house in the AM. At some point in the afternoon we'll head to Oc.ean Spr.ings, MS (2.5 hours away) to go to an adoption seminar for Ne.w Begin.nings from 6-8 and then we'll head home afterwards.
Saturday...J's individual meeting with our SW at 10:00. (Lord, please let it actually happen!!!)
See...nothing really "post worthy", but I was feeling bad about not blogging so I decided to tell you about my busy, but boring life. I commend anyone who made it all the way through the post!!!
Monday...work from 9-2, then I scheduled an appt for 4/30 with a podiatrist to take a look at my bunion which will more than likely have to be removed. (You're dreading the fact that you started reading, huh???)
Yesterday...work from 9-2. Then I ran (okay, not literally...HA HA) home to freshen up and change clothes to be at an awards ceremony from 4-6. A little background...I'm in charge of a ministry at church where we go in and work with students at a local elementary school through Volunteers in Public Schools (VIPS). And our church was nominated for an award for our service. Unfortunately I don't know if we won or not because I had to leave the ceremony early so I could get to another church at 6:00 to teach the Vacation Bible School (VBS) music to all the people who will be leading the music for their own church's VBS this summer. It was a crazy night!!!
Today...work from 9-3. Then head home to feed Maddie, let her out, clean up around the house, and then get to church for choir rehearsal.
Tomorrow...My friend MW is being induced so I'm heading to the hospital at some point to go meet her new baby. We have our meeting with St. Eliz.abeth's Adoption Agency from 7-9pm.
Friday...clean house in the AM. At some point in the afternoon we'll head to Oc.ean Spr.ings, MS (2.5 hours away) to go to an adoption seminar for Ne.w Begin.nings from 6-8 and then we'll head home afterwards.
Saturday...J's individual meeting with our SW at 10:00. (Lord, please let it actually happen!!!)
See...nothing really "post worthy", but I was feeling bad about not blogging so I decided to tell you about my busy, but boring life. I commend anyone who made it all the way through the post!!!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Praise You in the Wait
I saw this poem here ,and thought you all might like to read it. We're not ttc anymore so we're not waiting for our biological baby, but we're still waiting...waiting for someone to choose us to adopt their precious child.
Praise You in the Wait
by Darlene Suter
I didn’t want to get out of bed- didn’t want to face the day.
This pain of infertility- it takes my breath away.
It seems everyone around me is sharing their good news,
But every month the disappointment reminds me what I lose.
I’m not complaining, God, for I know You hear my plea.
I know You have my best in mind, even when I fail to see.
I’m just being honest with you, God, and I know that You don’t mind.
I want You to search my heart, even when I’m afraid of what You’ll find.
I want my motives to be pure when asking You for such a treasure.
I don’t want a baby for selfish reasons so I can receive the pleasure.
So I’ll wait on You with faith and when my fear persists,
I’ll ask You for the strength to stand no matter what Your answer is.
I’ll praise you because of who You are and my heart will rest assured,
Because of the depth of Your perfect love I know I can endure.
Meetings
J will "supposedly" meet with our SW on April 12th.
We're going to Ocean Springs, MS to meet with another adoption agency on 4/11. I'm really excited about this meeting. It's a Christian agency, and for some reason that comforts me. I guess because I think that as a Chritian agency they would have some of the same values and J and I. And when we're about to pay them tons of money, it helps to think that they would be trustworthy and not deceive us.
J is working so much, and because of that we only see each other about 2 hours each night. Now you're probably thinking that I should be grateful for the 2 hours, but as soon as he gets home we eat dinner and then he pulls out the laptop and works from home. It sucks. I really miss him. He's tired all the time and he's been losing weight (weight he doesn't need to be losing) because many days he works through lunch and forgets to eat. I bought him some frozen dinners, but sometimes he just doesn't have the time to stop and eat. So I also bought some healthy snacks for him to munch on throughout the day so that if he doesn't have time for a full on lunch that he can grab a snack on his way to his next meeting. I worry about him. He's only been in this new position for a few months now, but I'm ready for him to move on to something else.
We're going to Ocean Springs, MS to meet with another adoption agency on 4/11. I'm really excited about this meeting. It's a Christian agency, and for some reason that comforts me. I guess because I think that as a Chritian agency they would have some of the same values and J and I. And when we're about to pay them tons of money, it helps to think that they would be trustworthy and not deceive us.
J is working so much, and because of that we only see each other about 2 hours each night. Now you're probably thinking that I should be grateful for the 2 hours, but as soon as he gets home we eat dinner and then he pulls out the laptop and works from home. It sucks. I really miss him. He's tired all the time and he's been losing weight (weight he doesn't need to be losing) because many days he works through lunch and forgets to eat. I bought him some frozen dinners, but sometimes he just doesn't have the time to stop and eat. So I also bought some healthy snacks for him to munch on throughout the day so that if he doesn't have time for a full on lunch that he can grab a snack on his way to his next meeting. I worry about him. He's only been in this new position for a few months now, but I'm ready for him to move on to something else.
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