How I Spent Mother's Day

J and I slept in to a whopping 8:30 am!! We lounged around until 9:30 and then we headed to Coff.ee Ca.ll for some beignets. I know, I know...bad breakfast for an IR person, but they were so yummy!!! We went back home and J worked on his adoption essays (YEA!) and I fell asleep on the couch. We decided we wanted sushi for lunch so we went to Ich.ibon. J was completely shocked that I was craving sushi (I'm not much of a fan, but for some reason the crab rolls sounded really yummy.) And I finally got the hang of chopsticks!! WOO HOO!!! The rest of the day was spent talking to our moms and J working out a way for me to back up the computer with the click of an icon on the desktop. And to make it even better he set it up to only copy the changes and not every single thing. I love my geek!!! :-) It was a very productive day!!! It wasn't a day without some sadness, but for the most part it was a good day!!

We did have a good laugh when I asked Maddie where my Mother's Day card was. She looked over at J and just stared at him like, "Yeah, dad, where's her card?". Too funny!

Mom sent me a sweet card letting me know she was praying for me during this Mother's Day weekend. It was nice to have my struggle acknowledged.

And to clearify for Mrs. J...what I mean when I say "I will never have children of my own" is that I won't have children that look like us or have mine or J's genetic characteristics. I know the children we adopt will be "my" children, but genetically they aren't and that's a big thing for me. It's not for all people, but for some reason I'm having issues getting over the genetics part. Perhaps I should say "biological children" in the future. Sorry to offend you with my words.

Sunday Solution

I saw this on Kristi's blog, and it compelled me to write a letter to my pastor.

Dr. Page,

As a woman who has struggled for over 2 years to become a mother, I have to be honest and tell you that I am dreading Sunday with every ounce of my being. If you would, please read this article and know that I'm not sending this to you to complain. I'm sending this because I know I'm not the only woman in our congregation who is currently struggling or has struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss.

http://www.pastors.com/RWMT/article.asp?ArtID=9387

While I'm very happy for all the new mommies we have in our congregation, I
am also heartbroken because I've lost our two babies, and I will never know what it's like to have a child of my own. Please understand this doesn't come from a bitter heart. We're adopting, and I'm very grateful for the opportunity to do so, but it still breaks my heart to know that I will never have a child that looks like Jon or sings like me.

I realize the flowers have probably already been ordered, but I wanted to shed some light on a way that maybe this day could be made a little easier for those of us who are not mothers. Often times if people haven't experienced the hurt of infertility
or pregnancy loss then they don't think about those that have. I was one of
those people before we started on our journey. I wish that I had seen the
article before today, but unfortunately it didn't happen that way.

I found it too hard last year to sing in the choir, so I sat in the congregation, and as
the flowers were being handed out I had a deacon come up and ask me if I had gotten my rose yet. My heart sank because it had only been 4 months since our second loss. So to keep that from happening again I'm choosing to leave after Sunday School and not attend the service.

I believe that all women nurture children in some way or another. It just so happens that we all can't be their mommies. Which is why I'm sending you this article. Thank you for your time!! And again, I hope you know that I am in no way criticizing how the Mother's Day services are done at FBC. I just want to bring to light the fact that there are so many women out there who suffer in silence on that day. And when these strong women are in a place that should be a sanctuary from the hurts of their
daily lives, it cuts even deeper to be skipped over on a day when they long to be celebrated.

Many blessing to you,
Janna

Now I know that it won't change anything for this year since I'm so late in finding Kristi's blog and her link, but I'm hoping that in the future Mother's Day will be more of a day to celebrate not only mom's, but women who have been nurturers and mother figures as well.