Lonesome Ramblings

I had a wonderful visit with my BFF Sarah and her little girl Em. They came in on Wednesday and I just dropped them off at the airport a little while ago. While they were here we went to the Children's Museum in New Orleans, we rode the carousel at the mall, I took them to see Mike the Tiger on the LSU campus, we went swimming (well, they swam while I sat on the side taking pictures b/c of my boot), we went to Chu.ck E. Che.ese's, and it wouldn't be a trip if we did shop 'til we dropped. I just love their annual visit! Sarah and I got our BFF scrapbook brought up to date, though now we're officially behind again. HA HA!

A little background on Sarah...she and I were roomates in college for the last year and a half we were there. And we have been best friends ever since. Sometimes it's so hard to believe that we've known each other for 13 years! And in all those years I don't think we've ever had a fight. Sure, we got annoyed by the other a time or two, but it's just the easiest friendship I have in my life. I just love her to bits, and our moms are great friends, too.

Sarah's little girl is 5 years old, and about a year ago, Sarah had the itch to have another baby, but she decided that she wasn't having another one until I had a baby. Can you believe that??? Of course, I told her to go ahead and try again, but she would have nothing of it. I know she wants another baby so badly, but to have a friend who puts your happiness ahead of her own is just so rare. She's a true blessing, and I couldn't thank God enough for bringing us together 13 years ago!!! I hope that each of you have a friend like Sarah! And if you do...thank the Lord for her, and then go tell her how much you love her!!!

J also left this morning, but he's headed to NYC. He is taking a group from our Sunday School class on a "vacation with a purpose". They'll be working in a soup kitchen for 3 days, and then for the rest of the week they will be typical tourists loose in the city! We have a friend who is a missionary in NY, and they will be working with him. I wish I could have gone, and my heart just aches b/c I'm am not on that plane with them, but I know that my foot needs the rest. Please keep them in your prayers...traveling mercies, safety while they are there, and that God will bless their efforts in a mighty way.

Hmmm, I have the whole week to myself...what's a girl in a big black bionic boot (as J calls it) to do???

Prayers Needed

My friend MW just called and said that her twin brother, Michael, and his wife had an appt today, and they couldn't find their baby's heartbeat. Christina has been contracting for a while now and was getting close to delivering their third little girl. Now they are in L&D having to deal with a still birth. Please keep them in your prayers. This will be especially hard for them to explain to their other two precious girls. Not to mention that MW just had a little girl a couple months ago, so it will be very hard for Michael and Christina to be around baby Rachel for a while, I'm sure.

UPDATE:
There was a knot in the chord. The baby didn't make it.

UPDATE#2:
Mike and Christina are having baby Karson Olivia's funeral today. The doctors think she died on Wednesday. They think the knot has been in the chord for some time, but it wasn't tight enough to do much damage until Karson moved down in the birth canal. At that point they think the knot was pulled tight and she suffocated. Here's the weird part...Christina's dog was all over her whining and pawing at her stomach Wednesday night. They couldn't get the dog off of her much less to leave her alone. On Thursday the dog would have nothing to do with her. It would just lay in the floor facing Christina and whine, but it wouldn't go near her. Is that not freaky??? It's like the dog knew something was wrong.

Prayers Needed

Yesterday evening, Christian music artist, Steven Curtis Chapman's 5 year old daughter (who was adopted from China) was hit and killed by their son when he was driving down their driveway. Please keep them in your prayers, not only for the loss of their precious daughter, but as they help their son deal with the immense grief that he must be feeling. I can't even begin to imagine their pain! Please ask God to extend His healing hand to the Chapman family. May He give them a peace that passes all understanding, and restore them in His mercy.

http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/

If you wish, you may also send condolences by mail to:
PO Box 150156 Nashville, TN 37215

More than five years ago Chapman and his wife MaryBeth founded The Shaohannah’s Hope Ministry after bringing their first adopted daughter, Shaohannah, home from China. The ministry’s goal is to help families reduce the financial barrier of adoption, and has provided grants to over 1,700 families wishing to adopt orphans from around the world.

http://members.shaohannahshope.org/site/PageServer

Praise You in the Wait

I saw this poem here ,and thought you all might like to read it. We're not ttc anymore so we're not waiting for our biological baby, but we're still waiting...waiting for someone to choose us to adopt their precious child.

Praise You in the Wait
by Darlene Suter

I didn’t want to get out of bed- didn’t want to face the day.
This pain of infertility- it takes my breath away.

It seems everyone around me is sharing their good news,
But every month the disappointment reminds me what I lose.

I’m not complaining, God, for I know You hear my plea.
I know You have my best in mind, even when I fail to see.

I’m just being honest with you, God, and I know that You don’t mind.
I want You to search my heart, even when I’m afraid of what You’ll find.

I want my motives to be pure when asking You for such a treasure.
I don’t want a baby for selfish reasons so I can receive the pleasure.

So I’ll wait on You with faith and when my fear persists,
I’ll ask You for the strength to stand no matter what Your answer is.

I’ll praise you because of who You are and my heart will rest assured,
Because of the depth of Your perfect love I know I can endure.

Very Touching

Today our church held its annual Easter Egg Festival, and as always, J and I signed up to work. While I was talking to a friend a lady from our MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) Group walked up to me and asked me how our meeting went. I was surprised that she knew about it, but I told her that it went really well, and then she said (and this gives me chills), "We pray for you and J every week at our Bible study." I wanted to cry, but all I could do was thank her and tell her how much it meant that they were praying. MW mentioned our HS meetings one week, and now they are praying for us as we're going through our adoption journey. That just means so much because I don't really know these ladies all that well. I've met a few of them because last year I was a MOPS child care worker and kept their kids while they met, but this year I didn't do it because it was just too hard emotionally. I just can't tell you how much it means to have people praying for us. And to know that people that we don't know all that well are praying just blesses my heart so much.

Because of this conversation today, I feel the need to tell you all that I pray for each and every one of you, my precious blogging buddies. Many times it's as a whole, but when I know of a specific request I do lift you up in prayer individually. I also know that I have several readers that are not the praying type, and that's okay, and I respect that you don't feel the same way I do, but I just know how much it blessed my heart to hear that we were being prayed for, so I wanted to pass this along in hopes that your hearts are blessed as well.

Prayer for my friend, MW

For the praying types...please keep my friend MW in your prayers. She's 31 weeks along, and early Wednesday morning she started having contractions 6 minutes apart. They started at 2:30, but she waited until 4:00 to call Dr. K because she thought they were just Bra.xto.n Hi.ck.s until she realized they were very consistent and were lasting longer than usual. So they packed up little B and they went in. Dr. K hooked her up to the monitors and took a swab (???) to check for signs of dilation. He told her they were definitely real contractions, but she showed no signs of dilation, though he said he couldn't 100% reassure her because you start dilating from the inside. He gave her some meds and 3 shots and then sent her home. Her little boy, B, tried to come really early, and she was in the hospital for a few days to stop the contractions. He ended up coming about 3 weeks early, but that beats almost 2 months earlier than planned. She knew she wouldn't carry this one to term especially since she has GD, but they really want to get her to 36 weeks.

To add to this, she has GD. She was just devastated when she got the diagnosis, but she got right on it and started eating healthy. Her blood sugars were doing well, so she thought. Today Dr. K told her that her blood sugars were still fluctuating too much so he might have to put her on meds to get them to level out. She's only gained 6 lbs, so he knew she was doing the right things dietary wise, but it's just not helping. He said her weight was a little on the low side so if she hasn't gained some weight by her next visit next week then she has to go on the meds to help her blood sugar levels while she eats like a normal person. Of course she took that really hard and is blaming herself. Dr. K reassured her that it wasn't anything she could control at this point.

Please keep her in your prayers. Baby C needs to keep cooking, and MW needs to quit beating herself up about the GD!! Thanks y'all!!!

Spotting Spotting Everywhere

Well...I'm out. I started spotting yesterday, and my temp took a huge nose dive, so that means that AF is on her way. Oddly enough, I'm okay. I mean I did have a melt down yesterday, but today I'm okay. I'm planning to go into my doctor's appt next week and ask for every test and procedure in the book that could help us figure out why I'm not getting pragnant because I feel like I'm spinning my wheels here. I feel like we're throwing away money on IUI's, and we don't have money that we can just flush down the toilet. J won't be able to go to my appt with me, and I don't think I can say everything I want to say without falling apart and becoming a bumbling idiot. I'm really worried that I'm going to freeze up when I start crying and I won't say everything to Dr. K that I want to say. My friend, K, said that she would go with me to the appt and be my "translator" if I get to where I'm so upset that I can't talk. I wish I didn't have to have a backup, but when I was talking to her on the phone I just lost it so I know that it will be even worse when I'm sitting face to face with Dr. K. Please pray that I can have the courage to ask for everything that can be done to be done. When I finally throw in the towel I want to be able to say that I gave it my all. And at this point I can't say that.

Whatever Will Be, Will Be

I don't know if I'm pregnant or not. The test this morning was a BFN, but it's still early. I'm trying to prepare myself for whatever lies ahead, but there's one thing I know...I DON'T want to get angry with God if I get a BFN. I DON'T want to spend days wallowing in my own self pity. I want to be joyful!! I know it's going to hurt if I'm not pregnant, but I can't let it consume me. Please pray for me in the coming days that I'll be at peace with whatever comes my way. Oh, I hope that I am pregnant, but if I'm not, well, praise God anyway!!!

Prayer for Our Friends

I am in shock over some news that we received last night from one of J's high school friends. D had a little baby boy, C, last week, and this weekend she went in to check on him and found him in his crib not breathing. They called 911, and baby C was rushed to the hospital and put on a respirator until they could determine if there was any brain activity. D and her husband JR had to do the unthinkable and turn off the respirator because there was no brain activity. Apparently C died of SIDS just days after being brought home from the hospital.

My heart aches for JR and D. Please keep them in your prayers as they work through their grief over the loss of their precious little boy, C.