Spotting Spotting Everywhere

Well...I'm out. I started spotting yesterday, and my temp took a huge nose dive, so that means that AF is on her way. Oddly enough, I'm okay. I mean I did have a melt down yesterday, but today I'm okay. I'm planning to go into my doctor's appt next week and ask for every test and procedure in the book that could help us figure out why I'm not getting pragnant because I feel like I'm spinning my wheels here. I feel like we're throwing away money on IUI's, and we don't have money that we can just flush down the toilet. J won't be able to go to my appt with me, and I don't think I can say everything I want to say without falling apart and becoming a bumbling idiot. I'm really worried that I'm going to freeze up when I start crying and I won't say everything to Dr. K that I want to say. My friend, K, said that she would go with me to the appt and be my "translator" if I get to where I'm so upset that I can't talk. I wish I didn't have to have a backup, but when I was talking to her on the phone I just lost it so I know that it will be even worse when I'm sitting face to face with Dr. K. Please pray that I can have the courage to ask for everything that can be done to be done. When I finally throw in the towel I want to be able to say that I gave it my all. And at this point I can't say that.

10DPO...

...and trying not to read into anything too much. Here's my chart so far...and if I must say so, it's pretty awsome looking. But we all know that a beautiful chart does not a BFP make! Just trying to stay realistic here, but I'm having a really hard time!

Updates...

IUI Update...

So the IUI went well, but now I'm beginning to think we did it too late. I got a - OPK at 9pm on CD15, a + at 6:45am on CD16, so we scheduled the IUI for CD17. I was having some wicked O pains around 10am on CD16 so I'm thinking I O'd around noon on CD16 because the pains stopped around early afternoon. We didn't get the IUI done until 2:30pm on CD17 so I'm thinking we were too late. I'm really bummed about it especially since we had abstained for 3 days to give us better sperm...well J's SA wasn't as good this month. His concentration was much lower. Although he had 33.3 million, his grade wasn't as good and his his motility wasn't as good. All was still within normal ranges, but add that to the fact that I think the IUI was done too late, and well...I'm not all that optimistic. Only time will tell, but I'm not holding my breath.


Update on Saturday's dinner with FIL and new wife...

Only one word can describe Saturday...AWKWARD!!!!! They showed up around 12:30 (I was starving by then so I was cranky.) FIL kept telling me to pick the restaurant, and even with me insisting that I didn't care where we went as long as I got food in my stomach within the next hour, he kept on and on about how they wanted to go where I wanted to go. *insert rolling eyes emoticon* So J brings up a Greek restaurant...everyone agrees (remember this part).

Well, on our way to the restaurant FIL says, "Janna, why don't you pick somewhere else for us to go?"

Uh, what??? Didn't we already agree where we're going?

So J says, "I thought we were going to the Greek restaurant?"

FIL says, "Well, we're eating at a Greek restaurant tonight for dinner."

So I'm thinking, "Then why did you people say something when the restaurant was mentioned 10 minutes ago?" *insert frustrated emoticon*

J say, "Well, do you like Chinese? We can go to P.F. Ch.ang's."

Both FIL and new wife say that they haven't been there so we change course and head to P.F. Cha.ng's.

Dinner was incredibly long and uncomfortable. I didn't have much to say because FIL creeps me out. J did a really good job making small talk, but I could tell he was struggling. FIL is so weird...he introduces himself to the waiter and shakes his hand...that's just weird. The waiter doesn't care about your name. He sees tons of people a week. Don't fill his brain with useless information about who you are!!!

Anyway...FIL and new wife came back to our house for a couple of hours after lunch. Again, awkward and uncomfortable small talk. Good thing we had Maddie, our miniature Dachshund there because most of the talk was about her. Thank God for Maddie!!

Honestly, I hope that we don't ever have to entertain them again. I know that sounds horrible, but FIL is just too over the top. I hate that he dotes all over new wife and he never did that to J's mom. I hate that he has to make friends with everyone, even to the embarrassment of everyone around him. And I hate that he thinks that we're all okay with what he's done. I really feel sorry for J. But, I love him so much more for being able to get through the day with such grace and strength. He continues to amaze me every day!!!

IUI #2

I got my + OPK this morning (and again this afternoon because I'm anal, obsessed, need more validation, etc...). J's appt with the lab is at noon, and my appt for the IUI is at 1:00. For those that are the praying type...we'd appreciate the prayers!!

Dr. K is off tomorrow so I have to see another doctor in the practice. I've never met Dr. P, but MW says she's nice. I kind of hate that I get to meet her the day of my IUI. I kind of feel like a tramp having her do this procedure the first time we've met! Ha Ha!

Wish us luck!!!!