GRRRRRR!!!!

I will be ranting...consider yourself warned!!!

J has been working so much, and this is driving me insane!! He's not "here" even when he's sitting on the couch next to me. I'm just so tired of his new job. I keep thinking about what I'm going to do when I have a baby here all day with me and he doesn't get home in time to help with ANYTHING. My friend MW is going through the baby blues right now, and I know a lot of that is hormones, but a big part of it is her feeling like she can't get away for a moment alone and the fact that she hasn't gotten a good night's sleep in weeks. I won't experience all the post-pregnancy hormones, but I will experience the extreme fatigue and the longing to get away (even if it's to go to work), and it makes me very anxious about motherhood because J is already working so much now. And it won't change when a baby is here. He just has too many responsibilities at work.

So last night J was complaining about his job again, but this time I chimed in. I have been very good about being supportive when he's too tired to do anything or when he's griping about work. But yesterday it all got to me, so I chimed in, and he got mad at me!!!! GRRRRR!!! I tried really hard to get him to understand that this isn't just about him. That it affects me too. And I tried to talk to him without crying, but the tears started flowing as soon as I said, "This isn't just about you, you know."

I know I'm thinking WAY ahead here, but I can't help it. I dread being at home alone, but add all the responsibilities of a newborn to all the ones I already have, and life without much help just doesn't sound appealing. I feel for J, I really do. It's not anything he can help. I guess who I'm mad at is his company. How they can expect one person to handle all he has to do is beyond me. J doesn't burn out easily, and he puts his heart and soul into ANYTHING he does, but I can already see him burning out. And how a company can sit back and let that happen just angers me to no end.

Rant over...back to the regularly scheduled excitement about adopting!!!

Happy New Year!!

I know I've been away from my little blog lately. I'm sorry!!! But I just had to get away from the IF for a while. I know I'm technically not accomplishing anything by running away, but it felt good not to think about it for a while.

So I think my last cycle is a bust. I don't know if I o'd or not. It's rediculous!! Ever since I started taking the Met my cycles have been so unpredictable even with taking Clom.id or Fem.ara. FRUSTRATING!!!! So...I GIVE UP!!! It's CD21 and I'm more confused than I've ever been!!! So, I've decided that we've had our last round of ttc sex. If I haven't o'd yet then too bad. I just can't keep waiting on my body to function properly. I have done lots of research on adoption agencies over the holdidays so I'm officially beginning our adoption process today by requesting information from the ones that I think we fit with.

Hoping and praying 2008 brings you love, happiness, answered prayers and fulfilled dreams!!!

More Than I Can Handle

In the last 3 days I've heard about 3 different people who have gotten pregnant. While I'm happy for them I'm really sad for myself. Two of the girls are just aquaintances, but they've both had more than one miscarriage, so for them I'm really excited. But the third already has 2 kids. I'm happy for her, too, because she's a very dear friend. But WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN??????? I'm so tired of being lapped!! I would never wish this IF crap on ANYONE. I just want my turn too!!!!!!

Gosh, I sound so bitter, but how can I not be when I'm coming up on 2 years of ttc???

WTHeck?

No temp rise this morning!!! OMG!!! We just wasted $400 on an ill timed IUI. I'm so freakin' frustrated, confused, etc... Guess we'll keep on BD'ing until my temp decides to do something. This cycle has been so weird. I've never O'd this late, but I did start Met this cycle so I guess anything new can throw off a cycle. I never felt sharp O pains, but last night I felt a few little somethings, so I was so sure I was O'ing last night. I never got a true + opk. But then again, I was using some pretty cheap tests so I just went with the one that corresponded with my CP and CM. Now I'm just pissed!!! Help!!! For you charting experts...click on the my charting ticker and tell me what you think!!!!

UGH I HATE THIS!!!!!!

Fairy Tales

As children we're read all these stories of how the princess meets her prince charming and they live happily ever after. And because of those stories every child has dreams about what they want to accomplish when they "grow up". And I'm no different. I wanted to go to college (check), graduate with an education degree (check), become a teacher (check), travel the world (check), marry a wonderful man (check), and then I wanted to settle down and have children. (Notice there's no "check" after that last dream.)

We started ttc in December of 2005, and back then I knew it might be hard to conceive, but I still dreamt of the day when I would hold our baby in my arms. It's now 21 months later, and that dream still hasn't come true. And honestly, up until this month I still dreamt of that day. But something has happened over the past month. That dream of holding our baby has disappeared, and it's been replaced with this deep emptiness. And you know, that feeling is like none other that I've ever felt before. I just have this feeling that my fairy tale ended when I married prince charming.

Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong, but at the moment there's nothing that I want more than to hold our baby. And when I look around I see all these people who have accomplished the dream of becoming a parent, I feel like I'm the lone woman on the IF island. Now, I know there are lots of people out there in the same situation as me (and I'm so thankful to have met some of them), but right now, at this very moment, I feel all alone in this. And I don't like that feeling.

Just Need to Vent!!

I was at the gym with MW this morning. I do fine when I'm around her, though I'm extremely jealous I can still be around her because she doesn't throw her pregnancy in my face. She knows everything we've been through, and even though she's a fertile myrtle (it took her 1 month to conceive this one, and 2 months to conceive DS) she's still very sensitive to my feelings. But a friend of hers, we'll call her "Me Girl", came in and joined us on the elliptical, and all she could talk about was her pregnancy and how things were going to change and what stroller and car seat to get, BLAH BLAH BLAH. "Me Girl" is due in December so it's not like I needed to hear all these things to know she was pregnant because I could see her freakin' belly. But the things is, she KNOWS what we've gone through because I told her the first day I met her at water aerobics when she asked if we had children. We talked about how she'd had a m/c too in between this one and her DS. So "Me Girl" knows about our issues. Granted I don't see her very often (thank God), and she doesn't know the last 2 IUI's didn't work, but she knows how freakin' long we've been ttc. That just ticks me off when people KNOW your situation but they are so completely self absorbed (hence the "Me Girl" name) that they talk about themselves the whole time. I just had to leave. I didn't want to start crying in public so I left. When I got to the car I lost it. This is just SOOOOO unfair.

Being the GREAT friend that MW is, she immediately went home after her workout to email me to see if I was okay, despite the fact that she needed to go run errands..."Just wanted to check in on ya. I am sorry that she wouldnt stop talking about babies. I tried to change the subject to food, but it didnt work. Call me if you need to chat, I am off to run errands."

I'm so thankful for MW because she truly does understand where I'm at, and I truly am excited for her, but as I said in my reply...

"I just needed to get out. I know y'all are both excited about your pregnancies, and you have every right to talk about them. I am just not at the point where I can be around all that yet. I hope I didn't seem rude. I didn't mean to be, but I was about to start crying and I didn't want to make a scene. I've had my crying session so I'm okay now. It’s just that there are so many pregnant people around, and it's hard. I'm tired of feeling like this, but at this point I don't know what to do to make it stop. I guess it's just going to take time."

Thanks for listening ladies! I just needed to get that out. Anyone have a similar story...misery loves company, right?

Calgon, Take Me Away

I just can't seem to get away from pregnancy/baby talk. So you know about my friend MW who's pregnant. Well there is a new couple at church that we've started hanging with a little, and she's pregnant.

Last Sunday the SS lesson was on hope during the hard times. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that I've lost all hope of ever having a child of our own.

This morning my friend L had her new baby in SS because there wasn't anyone in the nursery. It took all I had in me to keep from staring at little B. He's just so adorable. I kept wishing I had a baby to bring to class.

Today's SS lesson was on suffering, and the teacher gave several reasons for why we suffer. And one of the reasons was that God was allowing us to suffer because of the sin in our lives. I've struggled with this for a long time. Is God allowing me to suffer with infertility because of some sin that I've committed? So of course that's all I thought about during the lesson. I kept racking my brain to come up with the worst sin that I've committed that could have been the cause of my infertility suffering. I came up with a few things that I've done wrong, but I couldn't come up with a reason for the infertility as a punishment. It just doesn't seem fair.

Then today during the sermon the preacher was preaching on reaching out to our neighbors and he played a video of a skit. The jist of it was that a new neighbor moved in (pregnant, of course) who was bed ridden because of preterm labor. The woman talked about how lonely she was because she knew no one, but she couldn't get out to meet anyone because she was on bed rest. The neighbor across the street wanted to go over and meet the new neighbor, but something always came up that prevented her from going over there. And she only saw the man around so she thought it was a bachelor living in the house until one day she saw a blue stork in the yard. So she finally went over and brought the woman a meal. But the kicker was when our pastor at the end of his sermon was talking about giving things to God. And so he started giving examples for people who were in different stages of life. His example for the newly married...those who were contemplating whether or not to have children. (Of course.) He was trying to get across that everyone, no matter what stage of life we're in, has struggles. That's our common thread, and when times are difficult we're supposed to give it to God. As if I hadn't already done that. But he acted like once we give it to God that everything would just be grand because we didn't have to worry anymore. It would be so easy to not worry about my infertility if I wasn't always bombarded with pregnancy/baby talk!! That's my problem. I just want to get away from all this. I don't want to worry about whether or not I'll ever be a mother or J will ever be a father. I've given my hopes and dreams and my hurts over to God so many times, but when it's constantly in my face it's hard to forget. I just want a break!!! What does a girl have to do to get away from this?

Ayayay...

It's CD11, and I stupidly took an OPK yesterday, just one day after finishing this round of Clom.id. It was very dark. Now I'm worried...is it because of the Clom.id that it's dark, or am I O'ing early? My gut tells me I'm not O'ing this early, but when you have a very dark OPK staring you in the face it's rather nerve-wracking. I checked CP (high, medium firmness, medium opening). I check CM (creamy). I'm not having the heavy O pains either, so all of these things give me a little more confidence that I'm not O'ing early, but still...why, oh why did I take the OPK yesterday? I don't normally start them until CD12. I start doing the monitor sticks on CD10, but I don't start the OPK's until CD12. I took another OPK this morning to see if it was lighter than yesterdays because if it was, then it would give me a pretty clear answer if it was the Clom.id. But it was darker. (It figures.) Guess we'll BD tonight to cover our bases. Ay-ay-ay...this is so frustrating!!!!

I found this info, so it gives me hope that I just tested too early...

Q: Does Clomid cause problems with OPKs?

A: Clomid (Serophene/clomiphene citrate) can cause a false positive in OPKs if taken too soon after finishing the prescription. According to most of the manufacturers you should wait at least 3 days before using an OPK. If you take Clomid days 3-7 you can begin testing on day 10. If you take it 5-9, you should wait until day 12.

And I found this on another site...

Q: Can Clomid Interfere with OPK Test Results?

A: Clomiphene Citrate (Clomid/Serophene) can interfere with ovulation test results - generally in the form of a "false positive". However, clomid generally causes a false positive only if you perform an ovulation test too soon after taking the clomid - or too early in your cycle. Most drug manufacturers suggest you should not start testing with the ovulation predictor kit until several days after you finish the last dose of clomid/clomiphene.

So I'm going to take these sites at their word and just believe that I've tested too soon, and I'm getting false positives. Lord, please let them be false positives!!!!

Trying So Hard

This sign is so true, but it's so hard to not become a bitter bi-yach when the journey to have a baby seems to come so easily for everyone I know IRL except me. I try really hard not to be bitter. I really do. I try to think about the good things that have happened as a result of my ttc journey. I try to envision us bring home our little baby. But then I start thinking about the fact that I have PCOS, and how I don't ovulate, and how I'm having to take this evil Clo.mid just to make my body do what it's supposed to do. Then that leads to thoughts about the two babies we've lost. It's just so hard to stay positive and hopeful when everyone around me gets pregnant just by looking at their significant other while I sit here 20 months into our ttc journey with no child in my arms and one not in sight.

How do I keep from becoming a bitter infertile? Is there a way to prevent it? I've prayed that God would use my journey for good, but I just don't see it happening. Maybe it's not meant for me to see. I don't know. But I do know that my heart is heavy, and I can feel myself getting more and more bitter the longer it takes us. I don't want to become "that woman" who couldn't have kids and can't find any good in anything because of all the bitterness in her heart. I want to be happy and hopeful again. I just don't know how! Any suggestions???

UPDATE...please take the time to go congratulate Beth...she got her BFP tonight!! I'm so happy for her!!!

Insomnia

I don't know what my problem is tonight, but I can't sleep. Must be all the wine! ;o) I've just got so much running through my head. Maybe if I get it all out then I'll be able to sleep so here goes...

• I have a temp dive this morning which means that AF should have been here at some point today, but all I've gotten a visit from is spot. And even that was only for about an hour, and now it's just brown tinged cm. (sorry TMI) I don't know what to think. I know I'm not pregnant...the FRER doesn't lie. And with the nose dive my temps took this morning there's no way I'm preggers. I'm worried that the lack of AF's visit is a problem. Could this 4th round of Clomid cause my lining to be so thin that there's nothing more to shed than an hour's worth of spotting???
• I just can't believe the IUI didn't work. I had such high hopes to be preggers with MW, and now that I'm not it makes her pregnancy that much harder. She's trying so hard to be helpful and all, but I just can't face her. It's too hard. She's the eternal optimist so she truly believes that I'll be pregnant one day. Me? I'm the eternal pessimist. I don't think I'll ever get pregnant, and even if I do get a BFP I really don't think it's gonna stick. I really need to try and be more like her and have a positive attitude about it, but when both of my pregnancies have ended in m/c my track record isn't exactly one for the books.
• I keep thinking about how it only took MW 1 month to conceive, and then I start crying. I just don't get how it could be so easy for her and why it has to be so hard for me. I just don't get it.
• I colored my hair today, and it looks like shit! J says it's fine. But what is he *really* gonna say when he comes home to me in tears. He's brave, but I don't think he's *that* brave. I have no idea what I'm going to do about it. I just don't look good with black hair. I look like back-woods Louisiana trailer trash. Seriously...it's bad!!!
• I don't know whether to call and talk to my doctor about my AF/spotting issue. I don't know whether to give it more time to see if AF really does show or whether to call and say that yesterday was CD1. I just don't know.
• I want to take time off from ttc, but I'm no spring chicken, and time isn't really on my side. Especially with the whole PCOS issue. I think my lining needs a break from the Clomid so I'm taking a 1 month break for sure, but do I extend the break until after our Jamaica trip?
• And along that line...I've mentioned to my doctor that I want to start taking Metformin. He said he only gives it to his patients when the Clomid doesn't work. Well, the Clomid works in that it makes me O, but I'm not getting pregnant and staying pregnant. So I'm torn about whether to call and tell them I'm CD2, I want to take some time off, but in the meantime I want to start the Met.
• I have 3 bottles of FertilityBlend. Do I take them in the meantime? I know they probably won't work, but I've bought them. They need to be taken, and I can't take them with the Clomid. So if I put myself on a break, should I take them?
• Is it time to give up and move onto adoption? We've been going at this (no pun intended) since December 2005. When do you say enough's enough?
• I researched adoption a lot yesterday. There's a bap.tist chil.dren's ho.me in Mon.roe, LA, and most of their infant adoptions come out of Sel.lers Mat.erni.ty Ho.me here in the BR area. Do I call and ask for a packet?
• I feel like such a loser for not being able to give J a child of his own. J doesn't see me that way, but that's exactly how I see myself. I've told him he could leave me and find someone else while he was still young enough to have children. He says he's never leaving me, but a part of me wants him to. I don't want him to have to go through this anymore. I want him to be a dad, and since I can't make him one I want him to find someone who can. (Hmmm, reminds me of a Bible story. Bet my story won't turn out like Sarah and Abraham's.)
• I took all 3 FertilityBlend pills right before bed. Was that a bad thing to take them all at once? Is that why I can't sleep? I am literally wide awake. This sucks!!!

Well, I think that just about covers everything that's on my mind. I don't know if this is going to help me sleep, but it sure did give me something to do for a while. Oooh, I yawned. Maybe I'll get sleepy soon!! Nighty night!!!

I'm Out!

I had a huge temp dip this morning so AF is on her way. Guess I won't get to be a preggers buddy with MW after all. That would have been too nice of a story. Now I get to throw more money down the drain for another IUI cycle. Bitter??? You betcha!

Update...Just saw my friend MW...burst into tears the minute I saw her. So I went out and bought me a bottle of wine, some chocolate, and a new box of hair color...I'm good...for now.

Update #2...who the hell am I kidding?? I'm not fine. I'm not pregnant, my would-be due date is in 4 days, I have a friend who's pregnant and I have to see every day for the next 8 months, and my hair turned out black despite it saying the color was medium brown. It can't get any worse, can it??? God, please don't let it get any worse!!! I don't know how much more of this I can take!!!!

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

I broke down and tested yesterday because I'm weak...BFN. Not a total shock. But the thing is...I was only 11DPO, but I thought I was 12DPO so now I seem like even more of a dork! WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF EVERY MONTH????? Where's my padded room? *runs away screaming*

Tick Tock, Tick Tock...

I'm waiting on my + OPK. I thought the one from this morning was +, but the more I look at it the more I'm thinking it's an almost +. However, the ones from this afternoon and this evening were definitely -. I don't think I missed my LH surge because 1.) CD14 is early for me to O, and 2.) I did this last cycle. I had an almost + kind of early, followed by several definitely -, then came the definite +. So we'll see that tomorrow holds. No EWCM, but it's watery. And my CP is HS, but not quite open. Ugh...too many factors!!! I'm having little twinges on the left side (it's always the left side, btw) so I will probably be calling tomorrow or Tuesday at the lastest to set up the IUI. I'll keep y'all posted!!!

That Old Saying...

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me," really applies here. I should know better than to read too much into my symptoms in the 2ww, but once again I was fooled into thinking something good might come from all the nausea I was having. So shame on me!!! I guess it's on to cycle 15. Have I said lately that this sucks?

I'm going in on Thursday to have my monthly "I'm not prengnat, give me my Clomid" appointment, and I'm pulling out all the stops. I'm asking for Metformin, and I'm asking for Progesterone to take if/when I ever get another BFP. I've got to give this my all because it stops with Clomid. We won't be going on to injections, IUI's or IVF. Clomid is my only shot at having a biological child. I kind of hate to put all my eggs (no pun intended) in one basket, but we just can't afford to sink all that money into something that might not work. So we've decided that if Clomid doesn't work we're using our savings for adoption. Wow...I can't believe I may be moving on to adoption in a couple months. This is my 4th round of Clomid since my miscarriage, and my doctor will only allow me to take 6 rounds back-to-back. I can always take a break for a few months and then get back on the Clomid train, but I'm not getting any younger. At some point we have to face reality, and reality (for us)is that Clomid might not work, and we might not ever have a child of our own. That makes me sad.

Weird Temps

My temps have been really low this cycle. When I look back at all my 9DPO temps, they've only been 98.2 degrees 2 other times. The first time it was this low was my very first cycle taking Clomid. The second time it was this low it was the second cycle of my second round of Clomid. Neither of those cycles ended in a BFP so I'm REALLY bummed right now. I was thinking of calling my doctor and asking for lab orders to get my progesterone checked, but since I'm 9DPO I'm thinking it may be too late to have it checked. *sigh* This ttc is REALLY taking a toll on my emotions. I HATE THIS!!!
___________________________________________________________
One of the contributers to the "Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Blog Directory" posted the following questions to the bloggers who have their blogs listed in the directory. I found the questions very intriguing...

1. What do you want people to know about the child (or children) you have lost?
They were wanted more than anything else in this world. And just because time has passed I still want them more than life itself and miss them with every ounce of my being. I loved every minute I carried our precious babies.

2. What names did you give (or plan to give) your children and why?
We didn't name either of our angels as they were lost so early, but we do have names picked out for the children we hope to have. The two girl names we have picked out are: Melody Grace and Olivia Kate. We've only been able to come up with one boy name that we both agree on, and it's Jalen Scott.

3. What rituals or ways of memorializing your children seem to best help you cope with their loss?
I have a charm bracelet, and I bought two charms for it. One is a heart that says, "The Heart Remembers" and the other is a baby angel. I think about our babies all the time, and when I look at the charms it's just a gentle reminder that they are waiting for me in Heaven. I can't wait to hold them.

4. What are the kindest and/or most helpful things people have said to you? What are the worst?
The kindest and probably most helpful thing people have said to me is, "We're praying for you and J. We don't understnad your pain, but God does, and He's able to comfort you like no one here on Earth can." And the other thing that I found most helpful was, "We're here when you need us. Call anytime." They weren't even pretending to understand our pain, but I knew that I could come to them if I needed to talk or I needed a shoulder to cry on.

The worst thing someone has said to me is, "You'll get pregnant again in no time." I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to pregnant again soon, I wanted to be pregnant right then! The fact that they said that meant that they didn't see my loss as important and worthy of grieving. Now, don't get me wrong, I know most people don't mean to say stupid stuff like that, but even if it's not meant that way, it still stings.

5. Who is your hero? Who helps you make it through the dark days better than anyone else on the planet?
I'm really not a person who has heros. I guess I do look up to some people, and the person that I look up to most my husband is J. He was an absolute gem during those dark days when I lost our babies. I saw him cry (which I had seen before, but this time it was different). He held me. He took great care of me after my D&C. He made sure that I didn't do anything I wasn't ready to do whether that was sending an email or calling someone to tell them I wasn't ready to have people over, or taking care of the house and chores and cooking. He was just wonderful. And you know, he did all that while he was grieving, too.

6. Is there anything you need to say or want to say but haven't been able to? Can you say it now?
I think I've been pretty open here on my blog, but there are still things that I haven't said to real life friends and family. I think if there's anything that I have left to say it's, "I am not weird or needy because of all this. I don't want people's pity. I just want their prayers. And I need to be reminded constantly that I am no less of a woman because I can't or haven't had children." That's the part that hurts the most because I do feel like a broken woman because of my infertility. I need that reassurance.

7. How are you doing? How are you really doing?
Most days I'm okay, but when I see a newborn, or I hear of someone who is newly pregnant I wish I had their life. And I have to grieve our losses and my pain all over again. When I see women who drag their children around and yell at them I wish I could walk up and just give their child a hug and tell them that I would want them if they were my child. I want a baby so badly, but more than anything I want J to be a father. It breaks my heart that the one thing I should be able to give him I can't.

Today's a Down Day

I don't know why it is, but every now and then I have this day where nothing suits me, and I just can't get out of the funk I'm in. And today is one of those days. Nothing has really set me off, it's just an overall dissatisfaction with my life. There's nothing that I want more in this life than to be a mom, and here I am at 33 with no living children. Sometimes it's just more than I can take emotionally, and I spend the day in a funk. My mom emailed today because she hadn't heard from me in a while, and I had nothing to say but negative stuff. Sad. I hate days like this, but at this point in the journey it's inevitable I guess. My heart aches...and I want chips. Did I tell you I'm an emotional eater? And I'm one of the rare ones that chocolate doesn't help. It's got to be salty and crunchy.

I saw this video on Shellie's blog. Thank you so much for posting this! It's truly how I feel...I Would Die For That!

No Side Effects This Cycle

I just finished taking my 8th round of Clomid, and I didn't have ANY side effects (s/e). When I picked up the prescription from the pharmacy the paper said they had changed manufacturers, and that bothered me a bit, but I didn't think about too much. Then yesterday I realized I haven't been on the couch as much this cycle. Clomid usually wipes me out so I spend days 3-5 of the pills sleeping off and on throughout the day. Then I realized I didn't have the horrible headache that accomplanies each pill. I found that to be very strange because typically I feel like I've got a heavy metal band playing in my head. Then I started to get worried. What if the pills from this particular manufacturer aren't as good as the ones I'd taken in the past? What if they don't make me ovulate? I'll know in about a week whether my fears are legit, but in the mean time I'm driving myself bonkers. Now don't get me wrong...I didn't miss the extreme fatigue or hellish headaches, but if an absence of s/e means that the pills don't work as well then I'd gladly wish to have the s/e back! I guess only time will tell. This is going to be a long week!

Retail Therapy

Today after learning that I'm now labeled an "infertile" I decided I needed a little retail therapy to help me cope. This is very abstract to J. He doesn't get how going shopping can bring me out of a funk. In fact, we had this conversation in one of our SS lessons this past Sunday, and all the women agreed that a little retail therapy was good for the spirits while all the men shook their heads in disbelief. But I gotta tell ya...it totally worked today. I found 2 pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of capris, 2 blouses, and a skirt. I was over the moon, and for a moment I forgot about my infertile state. So my retail therapy was a success!!

So what do you think? Does retail therapy help when you're down, even if just for a short time?

On to Cycle 16 BAH!!!

Yep...AF showed this afternoon. Can't wait to call Dr. Kleinpeter (AGAIN). This is getting SOOOOOO old!

Holy Temp Dip Batman!!!

So now I'm 11DPO. FF moved my O date from CD14 to CD16. And this morning I woke up to a 98.0 temp. I really don't think it's an implant dip...I had no covers on when I woke up so the dip is pretty deceptive. Wish I had some better news...isn't the roller coaster fun???