In the last 3 days I've heard about 3 different people who have gotten pregnant. While I'm happy for them I'm really sad for myself. Two of the girls are just aquaintances, but they've both had more than one miscarriage, so for them I'm really excited. But the third already has 2 kids. I'm happy for her, too, because she's a very dear friend. But WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN??????? I'm so tired of being lapped!! I would never wish this IF crap on ANYONE. I just want my turn too!!!!!!
Gosh, I sound so bitter, but how can I not be when I'm coming up on 2 years of ttc???
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Her First Dance Recital
"For this child I have prayed"
-1 Samuel 1:27
-1 Samuel 1:27
All About Me...
- Janna
- Houston, Texas, United States
- I am a 40 yr old imperfect Christian woman who's madly in love with my husband, Jon. We've been married for 10 mostly wonderful years. I say mostly because we spent 2 heartbreaking years trying to conceive, and those years were NOT wonderful years. We have two beautiful girls who came into our lives through adoption...Little Bit and Chipmunk. Little Bit was born in Sept 2008, and Chipmunk was born in February 2009. No, that's not a typo...our girls are 5 1/2 months apart! Life is crazy hectic, but they are our greatest blessings, and we are so thankful to God for building our family through adoption! I have psoriatic arthritis, naturally curly hair, and PCOS with insulin resistance.
My Favorite Things
- scrapbooking & making cards
- spending time with friends and family
- children's laughter
- singing
- shopping
- traveling
- Diet Coke
- playing the piano
- volunteering
- watching TV
- bling!
Followers
Our Angels
Angel #1, With us for 5w4d, chemical pregnancy, natural m/c 8/7/06
(edd 4/12/07)
Angel #2, With us for 9w3d, missed m/c, D&C 1/16/07
(edd 8/18/07)
Angel #2, With us for 9w3d, missed m/c, D&C 1/16/07
(edd 8/18/07)
My Precious Niece
Her First Dance Recital
The Loves of My Life!
TTC History
- Dec. '05 - off BCP (58 day cycle, O'd on CD43), started temping in Jan. '06
- Feb. '06 - 109 day cycle, no O
- Apr. '06 - Dx with PCOS, took Prometrium for 10 days to induce AF, start Clomid on CD5
- May '06 - Clomid 50 mg, O'd but BFN
- June '06 - Clomid 50 mg, BFP (chemical pregnancy at 5w4d)
- Aug. '06 - break cycle
- Sept. '06 - Clomid 50 mg, BFN
- Oct. '06 - Clomid 50 mg, BFN
- Nov. '06 - Clomid 100 mg - BFP
- Jan. '07 - Missed M/C at 9w3d, D&C
- Feb. '07 - break Cycle, on BCP to get AF, Antibody and clotting b/w done, all normal
- Mar. '07 - break cycle, on BCP to get AF
- Apr. '07 - Clomid 100 mg, BFN
- May '07 - Clomid 100 mg, BFN
- June '07 - Clomid 100 mg, BFN
- July '07 - Clomid 100 mg with IUI, BFN
- Aug. '07 - Clomid 100 mg with IUI, BFN
- Sept. '07 - Clomid break cycle, taking FertilityBlend. HSG on 9/28: Tubes all clear!! BFN
- Oct. '07 - Lap on 10/16: nothing other than the typical PCOS ovaries found. I should be happy about that, but for some reason I'm disappointed. I wanted some answers as to why we're not getting pregnant post D&C.
- Nov. '07 - Clomid 100 mg, 2000 mg Met, IUI, BFN
- Dec. '07 - Femara, 2000 mg Met, natural BD, BFN - Didn't even O
- Jan '08 - threw in the towel, started BCP
Adoption Timeline
- Jan. '08 - researching
- Feb. '08 - started home study for domestic infant adoption
- March '08 - individual meetings with SW
- April '08 - chose 2 agencies to work with, HS COMPLETE!!!
- July '08 - applications turned in!!
- August '08 - Dear EM letter Complete!!!
- September '08 - Profiles Complete and Officially on the "Waiting Parent" list!!!
Fighting Infertility (* Denotes Pregnancies)
Made It To The Mommy Side After Infertility
- A Day in the Life of a Moody Person (Rian)
- A Somewhat Ordinary Life
- All You Need is Love (Sheri)
- Changing Expectations
- Fertile Hope (Trish)
- Fertility Futility
- Fertilized!! (Farah)
- Fumbling Towards Eggstacy (Heidi)
- Grateful Always (Beth)
- Jen and Carter
- Kicking You From the Inside (Kate)
- Life in the White House (Jess)
- Luck Doesn't Happen Twice (Kim)
- Mandy's Blog
- My Journey to Mommyhood (Courtney)
- My Prayers, His Promises (Elaine)
- Our Journey to Baby-Weathering the Storm of IF (Gretchen)
- Over My Head (Lizzy)
- Pancake Saturday (Kim)
- Praying for a Little One (Courtney)
- Raspberry Chip (Rachel)
- Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies (Natalie)
- Reproductive Jeans (JJ)
- Roadblocks and Rollercoasters
- Serenity Now
- Sticky But Sweet (Kristen)
- That Was the Plan
- The Sticky Bean Preconception Journal (Kristen)
Adoption Blogs (*Current Match!!, +Forever Family!!!)
- A Family of Love+ (Joanna)
- A Heart for Adoption+ (Mandy)
- A New Kind of Normal: Life with Infertility and Chronic Disease+ (Jamee)
- Born in Our Hearts+ (Kristi)
- Bunches of Burches+ (Sarah)
- Cross Family+ (Kasey)
- Excuse Me...I'd Like a Refund on These Ovaries (Kellie)
- Full House, Full Hands, Full Hearts+
- Henry Street+ (Rachel)
- Hopeful Family Waits (Laura)
- In Our Own Weird Way+
- Jenn's Journey+
- Life in the Phisch Bowl+
- Life in The Polar North Defrosts+ (Wendi)
- Losing the Baby Wait+
- Love, Hope and Faith+ (Christy)
- MM's Musings+ (Mary Michele)
- Not Like I Thought It Would Be+
- Our Star Was Born+ (Alison)
- Production, Not Reproduction
- Quest for a Lifetime+ (Malloryn)
- The Miller Adoption Journey+ (Jamee)
- The Voice of Adventure+ (Angel)
- Waiting for His Time+ (Erin)
- Wendy and Steve+
Other Sites I Frequent
- (Not) Coming to a Uterus Near You (Katie)
- Bring the Rain (Wife of Selah Member)
- Chick of Faith (Melissa)
- Danielle in the City
- Fertility Friend
- Jamie and Holly
- Lost and Found and Connections Abound
- Loungeplace
- Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Blog Directory
- Mrs. Happy Home (Elizabeth)
- MySpace
- Opalene Stationary (Alese)
- Pink Armchair Designs
- Seriously, This is My Life (Angela)
- Steven Curtis Chapman's Blog
- Strength for Today (Tamra)
- The McFatter Clan (Melissa)
- Thoughts From a Dimple Queen (Angie)
Fertility and Adoption Lingo
- • 2WW/TWW = Two Week Wait, the weeks after ovulation and before menses
- • AF = Aunt Flo (menses)
- • AP = Adoptive Parent(s)
- • B/W = Bloodwork
- • BBT = Basal Body Temperature
- • BCP = Birth Control Pills
- • BD = Baby Dance
- • Beta = Blood pregnancy test to check the amount of HCG (pregnancy hormone) that is in your system
- • BFN = Big Fat Negative (pregnancy test)
- • BFP = Big Fat Positive (pregnancy test)
- • BM = Birthmom
- • CD# = Cycle Day #
- • CM = Cervical Mucus
- • CP = Cervical Position
- • EM = Expectant Mother
- • FMU = First Morning Urine
- • HCG = Hormone level that increases when pregnant, also Hormone injected to "trigger" ovulation
- • HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
- • HS = Home Study
- • IF = Infertility
- • IR = Insulin Resistant
- • IUI = Intrauterine Insemination (AKA "the Turkey Baster")
- • M/C = Miscarriage
- • M/S = Morning Sickness
- • Met = Metformin, drug to help with the processing of insulin
- • OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit
- • PCOS = Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
- • PG/Preggers = Pregnant
- • RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist
- • S/E = Side Effects
- • SA = Semen Analysis
- • SMEP = Sperm Meets Egg Plan
- • SW = Social Worker
- • TTC = Trying to Conceive
- • U/S = Ultrasound
- • WTO = Waiting To Ovulate
- • WTT = Waiting To Test
Blog Entries
Blog Entries By Topic
- 2WW (9)
- About Me (6)
- Accu (1)
- Adoption (60)
- AF (7)
- Ah-Ha Moments (3)
- Arthritis (5)
- Award (4)
- Birth Control (3)
- Book Review (3)
- D and C (2)
- Decisions (3)
- Doctor's Appointments (16)
- Family (18)
- Fertiles (6)
- FertilityBlend (1)
- Foot Surgery (8)
- Friends (17)
- Guardians (1)
- HSG (4)
- I'm Blessed (1)
- I'm tired (26)
- IF (1)
- In the news (6)
- Infertility (47)
- Insurance (1)
- IR (4)
- IUI #1 (7)
- IUI #2 (4)
- IUI #3 (6)
- Just Lounging Around (4)
- LAP (9)
- LASIK (4)
- Last Chance (2)
- Life After Miscarriage (16)
- Life Outside of TTC (4)
- Little Bit (12)
- Mardi Gras (1)
- Metformin (7)
- Miscarriage (4)
- Miscarriage #2 (5)
- Mommyhood (1)
- Mother's Day (2)
- NIAW (1)
- no longer ttc (2)
- Nursery (2)
- Oct 15th (1)
- OPK's (2)
- Prayers (9)
- Pregnancy #2 (8)
- Random Ramblings (31)
- RE (2)
- Songs (3)
- Taking a Break (2)
- TTC Again (22)
- TTC History (1)
- Vacation (6)
- Weight Loss (2)
- Work (3)
8 comments:
:( I'm so sorry. No matter how happy you are for friends, it still stings.
I'm right here with you. And it sure isn't any fun. Just have hope and faith that it will eventually be your turn. And how sweet it will be!
I'm sorry :O(
I'm with searching, it's so hard to be happy for others when you so desperately want the same thing.
I do not think its bitterness at all. It's truly a deep deep hurt. I am sorry that it is raining bfp announcements in your circle of friends
I'm sorry. I know how hard it is too see all the women around you having multiple babies. It just isn't fair. I really hope your time comes soon.
Janna - I believe that there's a level of pain beyond the norm you are experiencing. All I can do is just pray... my heart hurts for you b/c I want you to celebrate. I want it to be you so bad.
I have been ttc for 4 1/2 years. I get that feeling.
When I see people with lots of kids, I look at them and I wonder why I can't just have one more. Just one, I could be happy with that. Why is this so hard for me and so easy for them? How can I be failing at the one thing that high school girls all over the world live in fear of doing my mistake?
I'm sorry I'm late to this post. I don't think you're being bitter at all. You make perfect sense. It's really, really hard to hear these types of announcements, especially when it comes from someone who puts no effort into the process at all.
Sending lots of hugs your way.
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