*Invision me SCREAMING and running around like a mad woman*

On top of all the confusion with my cycle, J has been ragging me about the fact that we're having to keep having sex until my temp shifts. In a sense he's making me feel like crap because my body isn't doing what it's supposed to do. Like I have ANY control over this! I just wanted to say, "Yes Dear, I'm holding my egg hostage until I've gotten all the sex I can handle for one lifetime." But honestly, I was too mad to say it because I didn't want to make him laugh. I wanted him to know just how mad I was at him. So after him fussing about my wacky cycle last night (basically there were 2 football games on that he wanted to watch, and he was inconvenienced by having to have sex) we still needed to have sex...he couldn't finish. Typical! That's the whole reason I decided at the last minute to do the IUI. I didn't want to fight about having to have sex several nights in a row. I didn't want to stress about this, and the only way to keep the stress level down was to have an IUI done. But when the IUI was too early the only shot we had at this working was to have sex like normal people. God forbid he have to do it a couple more times. He acted like it was going to kill him! I didn't realize sex with me was so bad for him. If I'd known how bad it was I would have quit this game a LONG time ago. I'm just so angry with him. I'm angry because I have been poked, prodded, cut on, I've taken several rounds of Clomid, now I'm taking the Met which has been VERY hard to handle, I've quit taking my arthritis meds and paid dearly for it lately, and ALL I've asked him to do was have sex a few extra times a month or go in a cup. That's it!!! And that's been too much for him to handle apparently. Last night I actually thought about leaving him. And quite honestly, I'm STILL having those thoughts. I couldn't even sleep in the same bed with him last night. I moved to the couch when he finally came to bed (once the games were over). I'm so glad he's going to be in Houston all next week. I need a break from him.

Oh, and by the way, I did have a temp shift this morning, but I have no idea if it's legit or not. J came to wake me up at 6:00 so we could get to church by 8:00, but I was too tired to go. Of course, despite the fact that I could feel the bags under my eyes without touching them, I couldn't go back to sleep. So I laid there for an hour just staring at the ceiling reliving the drama from last night. There's no telling if that temp shift is real or not. For all I know my temp shot up from all the fuming I did this morning. But you know what? I'm not about to ask J to have sex again today. I'm done! Screw this!!!