7w5d ultrasound

We had waited for this day for so long! We were finally going to get to see our little bean! I was anxious, excited, scared, you name it, that's how I felt when we walked into the ultrasound room.

When the first images popped up on the screen I could see my gestational sac and a yolk sac, but I couldn't see our little bean. My heart skipped a beat. The technician kept looking and told us to relax a little while she checked my ovaries. I knew it had to be bad. Why wasn't I seeing our baby? By 7w5d you should be able to see the baby and little heartbeat flickering on the screen. After checking my ovaries she went back to look at my uterus, and again she couldn't find anything. I thought I was going to lose it right there on the table. Where was my baby? The technicial said that my gestational sac measure 7w5d, right on track. She said it was larger than 18mm, and certainly by the time it reaches that size we should be able to see the baby and the heartbeat. "Oh my God! We've had another miscarriage! This can't be happening!" was all that ran through my head.

The technician sent us to another waiting room so we could talk with our doctor. I couldn't do anything but sit there in disbelief. I didn't want to just lose it there in the waiting room so I laid my head on J's shoulder and quietly cried. I whispered to him, "It's not fair," and he gently rubbed my head and said, "I know, Honey, I know."

We went in to talk with Dr. K, and he prepared us for the worst. He wanted to wait a few more days and then do another ultrasound before making any decisions about a D&C, but he wasn't optimistic, and frankly neither was I. I just looked over at J with this, "Oh God, help me!" look, and he leaned over and grabbed my hand.

We walked out of the office with red eyes and empty hearts instead of with huge smiles on our faces and pictures of our baby in our hands.