Adoption Web Seminar

I sat in on Ho.lt Intern.ational's web seminar last night. I know there are so many children out there that need loving homes, so I was really surprised that it could take anywhere from 1.5-3 years to get the adoptions finalized. I have to say that I'm just too antsy about getting a child in my home to wait upwards of 2 years!! I'm just so torn. I think there's more of a guarantee with international adoption than with domestic because so many expectant moms back out of adoption plans after the baby is born and choose to parent, whereas with international most of the kiddos are already in orphanages. But the length of time international adoption takes is hard to swallow. I know domestic can take just as long if we're passed over numerous times...can y'all tell that I'm very impatient about this??? Should length of time play a part in our decision?

I really thought I wanted to adopt from Korea, but after seeing that it was the most expensive route of international adoption (through Ho.lt) I quickly started rethinking that decision. I know adoption in general is just so blasted expensive, but OMG!!!! I just couldn't get over the cost. It was a true eye opener. J and I are financially stable enough to handle adoption, but not without it stinging a bit. There are times when I get a little miffed about the financial strain that fertility treatments and adoption puts on couples like J and me (and many of you out there). I know that the cost will mean nothing once I get to hold our child in my arms, but right now I'm having a hard time visualizing that part of the journey right now for all the dollar signs that are standing in the way. Then I start to think about the expectant moms and the emotional and physical strain that adoption puts on them, and that makes me cry. I know they have it SOOOOO much tougher. It's just money to us. To them the choice between parenting and adoption is a life altering act. I just have so much respect for those ladies who are struggling with the decision to place their child up for adoption.

J and I have so much to think about. We have a seminar with Bea.con Hou.se here in BR on Monday night. I'm sure I'll be surprised with how much domestic adoption costs as well, but I have to keep reminding myself that money shouldn't matter in this instance!! I think this is one time when my budget-minded, engineer husband won't mind spending this much money.

Disclaimer: I hope I haven't offended anyone with my ramblings. If I have, I am so sorry. My heart truly is in the right place even though I sound like I'm more worried about cost and time tables than the kids. I just want a child in our home. I know that we will make good parents and we'd be able to give them a great life. We love kids so much!! I guess I just feel horrible for even worrying about money and time. I just want to be a MOM and I want to give a child a loving home to live in!!! I just wish our road to parenthood didn't have to be so damn bumpy!!