Do you have any kids?

Who knew that question could be so hard to answer. The thing is most people don't think twice about asking, and up until a few months ago the question didn't bother me because I was still hopeful that it would happen in due time. But here we are 16 months and 2 miscarriages later still trying, so that question stings.

I was holding little Benjamin Tuesday night when another visitor innocently asked if we had any kids. At first it took me by surprise, but I quickly recovered and timidly replied, "No, not yet." I turned my attention back to little Benjamin, and hoped that the conversation would turn to something else. And sure enough it did, but the sting didn't go away. I didn't get the chance to look at Lauren, but I'm sure she was dying inside. She knows what we've been through, and she knows how difficult it is for me to still be saying no.

I can't keep people from asking me if we have any kids. I just hope that one day my answer will be, "Yes."