"I think the problem is that many people are waiting/wanting to adopt an "infant", but there are already many "children" available for adoption."I'm just not seeing how we're the problem. So I told her that the problem wasn't us wanting an infant. The problem is that there are far too many parents out there who have no clue how to parent. I saw it first hand when I was a teacher, and it broke my heart how children were treated, neglected, and left to fend for themselves while their parents partied all night. I then went on to say that I was in favor of free counseling and parenting classes and even mentoring programs for those who are needing some help. Now, I am not so niave to believe that counseling will fix all of their problems, but I think it can help a good number of them and give them a place to start.
I also took the time to let her know how offended I was at her comment. I just don't understand why those of us who can't have biological children are supposed to rid the system of all foster children. If I could have a biological child I would get an infant, so why is it that since I can't have a child that I should no longer want an infant or no longer deserve to adopt one? That thought process just boggles my mind. I am not opposed to adopting through the foster system, and since private adoptions are so pricey, that may be the way we go aobut adopting our next child, but to say that we are the problem there are so many children in foster care is just ludicrous.
Then the arguement was raised that there would be no way for these girls who can no longer receive an abortion to pay for their medical care while they're pregnant without a universal healthcare system in place.
So once again I chimed in and told them that women are allowed to receive Medicaid while they are pregnant so they can receive proper prenatal care.
Someone then said that she felt there would be more women dumping their babies in back alleys, garbage cans, etc...
I mentioned the "safe baby haven" program that the government has set up that allows a mother to drop her baby off at a police station, hospital, or fire station with no questions asked. I admit that this program was not perfect, and there needed to be more advertising about it on fac.ebo.ok, my.spa.ce, tv, etc... But I believe it's cut down on the number of abandonments dramatically.
I used to have a saying that I said quite a lot, "I hate stupid people." But I've quit saying it b/c it can be quite offensive. However, in this case I believe I will pull it out of the closet!!
Okay...rant over...back to my normal happy blogging self!!
10 comments:
The idea that infertile couples are some how responsible for the care of the damaged children of society does my brain in. When people suggest to me that we should adopt via foster care I ask them why they haven't done it.
And suggesting that you're doing something bad by adopting an infant is ridiculous. Those babies are in just as much need as kids in the foster care system. And in our state they have half as many couples as they want to have in the infant adoption program.
We have decided to adopt through an infant program because we're both in our twenties and most kids available for adoption through foster care are older which would make us look like extremely young parents, something we don't feel comfortable with. But we would consider adopting through foster care when we're older.
I am just left shaking my head at this
Yeah.. I basically had the same stuff said to me a few weeks ago. Apparently it isn't in "God's Will" for people to pursue fertility treatments, and that we should just adopt. And she compared an infertile couple's treatment plan to abortion. Yeah.
It's useless debating with these people, because they don't know the pain or heartache we face/faced every day. I guess our biological drive is less important than thiers.
And you are right, if people would take care of children, or took advantage of the programs available out there, then we wouldn't have so many kids in the foster system.
I so could have posted this! It still baffles me how ignorant and down right rude some people are. I had a lady call me up one day after our article was published in the paper and lecture me on how we were stupid to do private adoption and how it was so much "easier" and "responsible" to adopt through foster care. Thank goodness it was over the phone or I might have punched her!
Oh my gosh, you hit the head of the nail! You are so right. Just because you want to adopt doesn't mean you should not consider infants. Adoption is about finding a person that will fit your lifestyle and family. If it's an infant--so be it. That's "one less child in foster care." As a foster parent, I too am offended by some of her comments. There are so many people who paint foster care to be horrible. They should see the children's who's lives have been changed by foster parents (who by the way, didn't adopt them).
I'm so glad you spoke up!!!!!
Until someone has stood directly in your shoes (Can two people really be in the same pair of shoes? NO!), they need to be quiet and keep their delightful opinions to themselves. Judge lest ye be judged. It's not my job to judge anyone. Luckily I have a God to do all of that for me.
You continue on this path you're on. It's the right one for YOU and that's the only thing that matters.
Reading this makes me upset that someone would say or make that comment to you or anyone. You did and had every right to say what you did. I agree with you totally. If people would think before they speak and walk a few days on our shoes with Infertility and other struggles. People can be so ignorant and rude and have no clue at times.
UGH!!! I think that quote of yours definitely needs to be pulled out of the closet!!! Why are some people SO stupid??
On another note....the funny below about your mother texting made me giggle! I have an aunt that STILL textseverythinginonesentence!
(do you realize how hard that was to type all that without putting a space!! LOL)
Ang
I'm shameless about my flagrant use of the phrase "I hate stupid people" and I encourage your indulgence here!
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