I'm Mixed

My friend, MW (I've talked about her before) has a little boy, who is the cutest little boy you'll ever meet. Well, today MW told me that she's pregnant again. I had an idea that she might be because she said she'd been nauseated, tired and her boobs had been hurting. We share everything. That's how close we are. We know when the other is ovulating, about the start, cramping, you name it, we've talked about it. MW has been there for me every step of this crappy journey so I owe her a great deal of gratitude. Though she's never experienced a loss she has let me talk about everything and she's offered the best advice that she's known how to give.

Anyway, after she told me she was pregnant she said that she wanted this so much more for me than for herself, and that she wished I could test already because she is anxious for me. That's how great of a friend she is. I'm excited for her, I really am, but deep down I'm jealous. Is that normal? I mean, she's my closest friend (other than my best friend S), but being as how we're 19 months into our journey with no live child, and it took MW and JE one month really stings. Ugh!!! I hate feeling like this. I want to be able to be happy, just happy and nothing else!